closing thoughts
Posted: December 30th, 2011 | Author: admin | Filed under: Life of Cleary | No Comments »
I sort of had an epiphany yesterday, and I think it might be perfectly timed with the New Year and making resolutions and all that.
D had left for the day and I was alone in the house, in my pj’s, contemplating whether to go for a rigorous, hilly walk, or sit down at my computer and get some stuff done. Mourning the end of Christmas and that whole warm, cozy season where everyone is drinking, partying, cooking and planning events brought me to a place that made me realize I hadn’t yet had enough. I still wanted permission to eat cookies for breakfast (even if I almost never do that) and be excited for Holiday parties, and plan fun menus, and look forward to a magical time when for a short few days the world might slow down just a bit.
Then I kind of realized that I myself had not slowed down just a bit. Sure work is lighter this time of year (it’s ok to say that, right? Well it’s true) but I always find ways to keep busy. There are numerous tasks one can do to fill time; blogging for one. Cleaning the house, taking photos around the area, working on photos for art purposes, contacting people/networking/gorilla marketing, talking to cafes which might display my photos, etc etc. There are always things to do when you own a business. And if I’m not doing something like that then I immediately feel lazy. Why should I be allowed to sit around? Aren’t I motivated enough to have my own business?!?
Cute store I found on a walk
Well, yesterday I made the conscious choice to stay in my pj’s until noon, watch some Cooking Channel, and although I did have a sensible breakfast of fresh juice and wheat toast with almond butter I did allow myself a nice lunch of leftover risotto and chocolate cake with whipped cream. And I ate that chocolate cake on a special plate I use for special occasions while sitting on the couch watching some Cleopatra “portrait of a killer” thing on the History channel (because there is no Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week).
A special plate
It was excellent. I let my mind wander, passively watching Cleopatra while contemplating other things… and when I was finished I felt super inspired and knew what I wanted to make for dinner, what I needed to buy to fix my bathroom sink, and that I wanted to watch Lost episodes that afternoon. I didn’t do my hair after showering because I didn’t much feel like it.
Dinner!
I realized the truth is if you DON’T slow down, you will go down. Sink to the bottom of the ocean and lose your mind. And your creativity and your sense of free will. I have realized this before but I suppose I needed a refresher. So my New Year’s resolution is to maintain balance in my life, and give myself permission to stray from the middle line. And if I start craving a snow day or cookies for breakfast I will know that I need to allow myself some downtime and take a breather. There are too many rules. I’m not going to go out and dance in a laundromat because I don’t want to, but I might try some other things — all in moderation of course.
Let’s say it together:
This year remember to use the ‘special’ plates sometimes, and put some whip on that cake, and use those fun expensive skin product samples you keep saving for a grand occasion. Set out on a walk with no particular destination and see what you find. Plan a party, watch an indulgent show, eat some cheese. Who knows where it might take you?
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